Greetings, To Anybody Out There,
I have to write this quickly.
I understand and have great sympathy for Sergeant Bergdahl because for five years I have been held captive against my will by radical rogue Muslim elements right here on Batam island, Indonesia.
At all times, day and night, 24/7, I am watched by two hefty muscular Muslim thugs who have previously served as bouncers at the local masque. Those two brutes constantly watch, harass, and bully me while serving bad tasteless food, and will not allow me to leave my own apartment. Over years I may have written you in e-mails that I am fine, swim at the pool each day, walk about the grounds, but this is a falsehood. I have not left my dark curtains-drawn residence for five years. You do not have the faintest idea this is going on, but every mail I write is placed on…
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